How do you get breast cancer from sleeping with your bra on?

A bra restricts the natural bouncing motion of the breast. An un-bounced breast suffers from decreased blood flow, which substantial inhibits the functioning of the lymphatic system. This causes toxins to build up in the breast, creating cancer.

Think of it this way: imagine your breasts are two water balloons. When you eat unhealthy food or come into contact with chemicals, you introduce food coloring (toxins) into the balloons. In the natural world, your movement would cause the water balloons to bounce about, diluting the food coloring until it was basically invisible. Now, imagine what would happen if you strapped these balloons into some kind of harness that keeps them motionless (a bra, for example). Then the food coloring would sit on the bottom of the balloons in little, undisturbed clumps. Those clumps are tumors. QED.

To protect against breast cancer, therefore, it is important to never, ever wear a bra to bed. In fact, wearing a bra at all creates serious risk of cancer. If you’ve been wearing a bra, don’t panic! Cancerous toxins build up gradually in your system; chances are, it’s not too late to reverse the process. First, remove your bra immediately. Second, vigorously manipulate your breast (circular motions work best) to stimulate blood flow. If you do this for an hour a day, for about a week or so, you should be fine. After that, if you want to wear a bra, say, on a formal occasion, simply repeat this process immediately before and after the event.