How do you get breast cancer from sleeping with your bra on?

A bra restricts the natural bouncing motion of the breast. An un-bounced breast suffers from decreased blood flow, which substantial inhibits the functioning of the lymphatic system. This causes toxins to build up in the breast, creating cancer.

Think of it this way: imagine your breasts are two water balloons. When you eat unhealthy food or come into contact with chemicals, you introduce food coloring (toxins) into the balloons. In the natural world, your movement would cause the water balloons to bounce about, diluting the food coloring until it was basically invisible. Now, imagine what would happen if you strapped these balloons into some kind of harness that keeps them motionless (a bra, for example). Then the food coloring would sit on the bottom of the balloons in little, undisturbed clumps. Those clumps are tumors. QED.

To protect against breast cancer, therefore, it is important to never, ever wear a bra to bed. In fact, wearing a bra at all creates serious risk of cancer. If you’ve been wearing a bra, don’t panic! Cancerous toxins build up gradually in your system; chances are, it’s not too late to reverse the process. First, remove your bra immediately. Second, vigorously manipulate your breast (circular motions work best) to stimulate blood flow. If you do this for an hour a day, for about a week or so, you should be fine. After that, if you want to wear a bra, say, on a formal occasion, simply repeat this process immediately before and after the event. Read more!

Which sperms are stronger?

There are several types of sperm. Remember, these are broad categories. There exist many variations inside each type, and each person will probably have more than one type.
Speeders – aka, Swimmers, Jumpers, “The Blitz” etc.
These sperm have an over developed flagellum and an underdeveloped head. They succeed by arriving at eggs in high number before other sperm and then penetrating en masse. Each Speeder has only 2/5ths of the human genome, so obviously high numbers have to reach the egg. These sperm often cause twins or triplets, as well as some weird numbers in between (half-siblings, etc).
Castles – aka, Blockers, Walls, “Linebackers” etc.
These sperm have oversized heads and long, but weak, flagella. They carry a massive genetic payload – enough to impregnate four or five eggs. When left alone, a single Castle can impregnate a female for an indefinite period of time. But this rarely happens. Instead, a large number of Castles will “block” for other types of sperm by forming a plug at the opening. Castles and Speeders work well in combination.
Razors – aka, Scissors, Slicers, “Edwards” etc.
These sperm have normal sized flagella and a sufficient genetic load to fertilize an egg. Their trick is their spiny flagellum. A flock of Razors can shred sperm from competing males simply by swimming by. They also, sometimes, rupture defensive Castles. These sperm are very efficient, but there are draw backs. Fratricide is a major problem. They’re also not as fast as Speeders. And then there’s the risk of lacerating the egg beyond repair. This is where many birth defects originate.
Of course there are other kinds, Burrowers, Spies, Clowners, the “Sheep”, Slinkies, Sickles, Whooping Sperm, and the infamous Walken Strain. None of these are as significant as the Big Three, mainly because they’re adapted to very specific battlegrounds. In environments where obstacles such as condoms predominate, for example, the Burrowers are obviously at an advantage.
Again, most people have a combination of different types. Debates over which combos you should choose still rage in scientific circles. Popular archetypes in the current metawomb environment include the One-Two Punch (Castles blocking for Speeders); the variant, the One-Two Donkey Punch; and the Walken Surprise, which combines the offensive power of Razors and Burrowers with the X-Factor of the Walken Strain. Consult your doctor on which combo is right for you.


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Why does my girlfriend get pain and burning after sex without condom that leads to an infection as it never happened with other guys before me and las

Why does my girlfriend get pain and burning after sex without condom that leads to an infection as it never happened with other guys before me and last I did without condom was 2 years before her?

This is quite a mystery. There are a few things that can cause burning and infection, but I'm not sure which is the culprit here. We'll go through them...



1. An STD - This was my first instinct. There are several types of STD's that cause no symptoms in men but really mess up women. The problem is, you haven't had sex without a condom for 2 years. After two years, all of the STD particles should have been washed off, gone stale, or moved on to another host.

2. You're uncircumcised - If not properly cleaned, the area under the foreskin can accumulate bacteria and other infectious agents. If your girl's previous liaisons were all clipped but your doberman still has his ears, that could be the problem. If this is the case, thoroughly cleaning the muzzle of your gun might work.

3. Food - If you and your girlfriend use food (whipped cream, peanut butter, scotch, pickles, etc) in the bedroom, this could cause a burning feeling and infection. But you didn't mention food and the problem only occurs when you don't use a condom, so things are more complicated than that.

Here's what I think is going on. Your girlfriend eats things throughout the course of the day. Then you two get together and she performs oral on you. Unfortunately, she doesn't brush her teeth first. You have unusually wrinkled skin on your man bits and this skin retains particles of food. Then, you two get it on without a condom, so the bits of food and rammed into her love dungeon. Instant burning feeling and infection.

Mystery solved.
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