As with all bail bonds companies run by 70's dance musicians, ABBA Bail Bonds has advantages and disadvantages that you should be aware of before going with them. On the plus side, if you decide to skip bail, your bondsmen are contractually obligated to broadcast "Dancing Queen" while hunting you, giving you ample warning to escape. On the minus side, your friends will rag on you mercilessly when you get caught by bounty hunters wearing sequin-laced skintight pleather. And ABBA Bail Bonds never loses a client.
If your lawyer is good, you might decide not to run. This is where the real advantage of ABBA shows through. It might sound like a pretty simple process--and the guys at ABBA are total professionals--but twenty years down the line, going with ABBA Bail Bonds will be the best choice you ever made. Their drug traffiking acquittal-to-high grossing musical conversion ratio is astronomical. You could go from wanted fugitive to budding romantic comedy superstar in a few short decades.
Really, though, the Swedish exchange rate is through the roof these days, and most of their serious fan base will be senile before the release of your musical, so they might not be the best investment. For your musical bail bonds needs, I would recommend something more recent, like Spice Girls Bail Bonds. You get the same basic services with a cheeky British attitude and a 1 in 5 shot of getting to sleep with David Beckham.
Do not under any circumstances go with Prince and the Revolution Bail Bonds, unless you enjoy ritual humiliation at the hands of short men wearing velvet and lace. While the pancakes are good, your reputation probably can't take the hit.
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