What will they do if you forged checks for thousands and flee the country? Fan Submission

This is a rather complicated question because it begs the question of who 'they' are. Assuming 'they' is the FBI then you should be alright. Granted, the FBI will open a file on you, interview your friends, detain your mother hoping she'll disclose your whereabouts, waterboard her, etc. Then, after refusing to divulge information about your whereabouts, she'll be shipped to Guantanamo Bay, which fortunately hasn't closed yet. The joke is clearly on the FBI though; you obviously have no intention of sharing your conspiracy with the woman who birthed you. At some point the FBI will forward your information to the CIA, but by that time you'll be long gone. I suggest you hide out in Pakistan, that country seems to have a high success rate for evading US intelligence.

Assuming 'they' refers to the Jews*, who run all major financial institutions, you'll probably be okay also. Jews don't take personal checks.


Note from Mr. Green: Please take it under advisement that both Mr. Red and I are jews, and that we will indeed hunt you down and kill you. We both also find certain jew jokes funny, don't try us too hard though.