Bleed after poop?

Bleed after poop was a common practice during the Dark Ages of Europe in which people who were thought to be possessed by fey, better known today as the fairy people, were expunged of their woes. The fairy usually was thought to have flown into boisterous people's mouths while they were bragging and as such, would spread fairy dust into their blood breeding more fairies while they made their escape in the person's poop the next day. It was thought that this would create a devastating cycle where fairies would keep being born in people's blood and move to their stomachs to spread more dust before escaping eventually making the person become more and more obese until they exploded. The solution was invented by Italian alchemist Verde Poppa after he believed his nagging, fattening wife to be infected. The process involved strapping a person to a bucket which the person would poop in then be immediately instructed to clench their anus as tightly as possible in order to prevent the fairy from escaping back from where they came. The next step was to set the bucket on fire while simultaneously slitting the patients wrist horizontally. By letting out profuse amounts of blood it was thought you could purge enough fairy dust as to prevent the next generation of fairies being born. While this process was painful, it actually had a fairly high success rate as after being performed it usually killed its patient and as autopsies would show, had eliminated any fairy in the person's bowels. In the end, fairies were hunted nearly to extinction and today the only live colonies left on Earth can be found in Rush Limbaugh and Rosie O'Donnell.