What to do when you feel so lonely and confuse?

You're in a sad state, my friend. I can sympathize. I've been dumped many a time. After each one, a Darleen shaped hole lingered in my soul. To this day, I wonder why I let it go on so long.

But that's neither here nor there. What you need to do is get up and moving. No one ever gets better sitting on their couch, typing sad questions into WikiAnswers. They get better in wild, hip-grinding clubs where the booze is as loose as the women. Here are some suggestions for post-breakup activities that will cheer you in no time:

1. Join a Book Club
2. Organize a disc golf tournament.
3. Complain incessantly about how much you hate cute couples.
4. Drink yourself into an early grave.
5. Take a class at a local college. Try something out of your comfort zone, like grammar or philosophy.
6. Realize you're hurtling towards the abyss one tedious, meaningless and painful day at a time.
7. Contemplate Suicide.
8. Find God. One of the angry, fundamentalist ones whose worshipers bomb abortion clinics.
9. Buy a Cat. (Great for meeting women!)
10. Go to the gym three hours a day, every day, for a week. While not eating. (Great for meeting men!)
11. Start a Blog.