Why does my girlfriend get pain and burning after sex without condom that leads to an infection as it never happened with other guys before me and last I did without condom was 2 years before her?
This is quite a mystery. There are a few things that can cause burning and infection, but I'm not sure which is the culprit here. We'll go through them...
1. An STD - This was my first instinct. There are several types of STD's that cause no symptoms in men but really mess up women. The problem is, you haven't had sex without a condom for 2 years. After two years, all of the STD particles should have been washed off, gone stale, or moved on to another host.
2. You're uncircumcised - If not properly cleaned, the area under the foreskin can accumulate bacteria and other infectious agents. If your girl's previous liaisons were all clipped but your doberman still has his ears, that could be the problem. If this is the case, thoroughly cleaning the muzzle of your gun might work.
3. Food - If you and your girlfriend use food (whipped cream, peanut butter, scotch, pickles, etc) in the bedroom, this could cause a burning feeling and infection. But you didn't mention food and the problem only occurs when you don't use a condom, so things are more complicated than that.
Here's what I think is going on. Your girlfriend eats things throughout the course of the day. Then you two get together and she performs oral on you. Unfortunately, she doesn't brush her teeth first. You have unusually wrinkled skin on your man bits and this skin retains particles of food. Then, you two get it on without a condom, so the bits of food and rammed into her love dungeon. Instant burning feeling and infection.
Mystery solved.
Read more!
August 29, 2009
I sent a money-gram to my girlfriend a.motovilova on may 2nd 2009 and my name is David Cooper and i paid cash at my post office and i would like to kn
I sent a money-gram to my girlfriend a.motovilova on may 2nd 2009 and my name is David Cooper and i paid cash at my post office and i would like to know if it was picked up.?
Yes, it was. I hope this question was important, because figuring it out was a pain. First, I had to hack into the security system of the US Postal Service to monitor their security cameras. Then I realized I didn't know what A. Motovilova looked like. So I had to get into the DMV to look for her.
Turns out A. Motovilova is an alias for an illegal Russian immigrant. So I had to search Interpol's computer system, along with those of the CIA and FBI.
Finally, I found out where she was currently living and where she picked up the money-gram. I checked this time against the Postal Service footage and discovered something disturbing.
A. Motovilova is a man. Read more!
Yes, it was. I hope this question was important, because figuring it out was a pain. First, I had to hack into the security system of the US Postal Service to monitor their security cameras. Then I realized I didn't know what A. Motovilova looked like. So I had to get into the DMV to look for her.
Turns out A. Motovilova is an alias for an illegal Russian immigrant. So I had to search Interpol's computer system, along with those of the CIA and FBI.
Finally, I found out where she was currently living and where she picked up the money-gram. I checked this time against the Postal Service footage and discovered something disturbing.
A. Motovilova is a man. Read more!
August 28, 2009
My Low Self Esteem
If you think we're funny you should follow the blog, and tell your friends, and tell them to follow the blog or you'll disembowel them. Because, if I'm doing this for nothing, I'm gonna kill myself, and probably be unfortunate enough to ask how to do it on wikianswers and have Mr. Red, Mr. Blue, or Ringo answer the question.
Mr. Green Read more!
Mr. Green Read more!
What will they do if you forged checks for thousands and flee the country? Fan Submission
This is a rather complicated question because it begs the question of who 'they' are. Assuming 'they' is the FBI then you should be alright. Granted, the FBI will open a file on you, interview your friends, detain your mother hoping she'll disclose your whereabouts, waterboard her, etc. Then, after refusing to divulge information about your whereabouts, she'll be shipped to Guantanamo Bay, which fortunately hasn't closed yet. The joke is clearly on the FBI though; you obviously have no intention of sharing your conspiracy with the woman who birthed you. At some point the FBI will forward your information to the CIA, but by that time you'll be long gone. I suggest you hide out in Pakistan, that country seems to have a high success rate for evading US intelligence.
Assuming 'they' refers to the Jews*, who run all major financial institutions, you'll probably be okay also. Jews don't take personal checks.
Note from Mr. Green: Please take it under advisement that both Mr. Red and I are jews, and that we will indeed hunt you down and kill you. We both also find certain jew jokes funny, don't try us too hard though. Read more!
Assuming 'they' refers to the Jews*, who run all major financial institutions, you'll probably be okay also. Jews don't take personal checks.
Note from Mr. Green: Please take it under advisement that both Mr. Red and I are jews, and that we will indeed hunt you down and kill you. We both also find certain jew jokes funny, don't try us too hard though. Read more!
How did Percy Lebron Spencer die? Fan Submission
Excellent question! The case of Percy Lebron Spencer is perhaps
the most interesting in all examples of stigmatic twins (other cases
include Abraham Lincoln’s lesser known brother Fred and Anne Frank’s
German collaborator sister Nancy). The problem of stigmatic twins
(twins who feel each other’s pain, for the lay person) was largely
unknown until Lindsay Lohan’s recent film (based on true events) I
Know Who Killed Me (IKWKM). This film brought to light the medical
establishment’s inability to deal with this growing problem (the film
has also started a strong global movements for the rights of stigmatic
twins). Percy and his brother Lionel were separated at birth and led
radically separate lives. But on the night of May 22, 1968, Lionel
was killed in the Student riots that erupted across Paris. These
riots proved inconvenient for Percy who’s family was forced to watch
him be beaten by mysterious forces while enjoying a quiet dinner with
his wife and children. Percy’s death was covered up by his
conservative in-laws because inexplicable flailing was considered a
symptom of homosexuality at the time. Read more!
the most interesting in all examples of stigmatic twins (other cases
include Abraham Lincoln’s lesser known brother Fred and Anne Frank’s
German collaborator sister Nancy). The problem of stigmatic twins
(twins who feel each other’s pain, for the lay person) was largely
unknown until Lindsay Lohan’s recent film (based on true events) I
Know Who Killed Me (IKWKM). This film brought to light the medical
establishment’s inability to deal with this growing problem (the film
has also started a strong global movements for the rights of stigmatic
twins). Percy and his brother Lionel were separated at birth and led
radically separate lives. But on the night of May 22, 1968, Lionel
was killed in the Student riots that erupted across Paris. These
riots proved inconvenient for Percy who’s family was forced to watch
him be beaten by mysterious forces while enjoying a quiet dinner with
his wife and children. Percy’s death was covered up by his
conservative in-laws because inexplicable flailing was considered a
symptom of homosexuality at the time. Read more!
How can you tell if you have IBS? Fan Edition
IBS or irritable bowel syndrome is a very serious ailment. Usually you can't tell whether IBS has gotten to you or not. Maybe your stomach makes a gurgle noise or more of a mumbbly bumbbly bumbbly sound, but you're in for a world of hurt. You may have to lie down for a bit, maybe steady your legs, but the second you feel okay and attempt to stand, you'll be back in bed holding your gut like you just got knife-wrenched. Next, you'll find yourself with your best friend toilet bowl. Get to know him, you'll be together a while. As you feel the "pressure" building and begin passing towards the back, you may need a wet towel or at least a hand gun if you're one of the weak ones that can't take the sh*t storm you await. When you hear an explosion, you'll know you're about to start. At first it'll just be smelly liquids pouring out of you, followed by objects you've swallowed, babies you forgot you were pregnant with, and lastly the organs that keep you alive. The kidneys fall out of you very quickly and blast your colon out like an artillery shell kissing a baby bunny. Usually followed by most of your small intestines. At this point you are probably preparing to use that handgun. If you don't, and I advise you do, it's not getting any better. IBS is 3 on my top ten ways to die following drawing and quartering and the 24 hour Tony Danza marathon.
Read more!
Mjlewiszitomedianetam Thobert Lewis was my grandfather he lived upNorth Creek he was married to Tressia BrittonWould like more info on his life He die
Mjlewiszitomedianetam Thobert Lewis was my grandfather he lived upNorth Creek he was married to Tressia BrittonWould like more info on his life He died in November 1956 My Mom is Viola Lewis Miller?
Mjlewiszitomedianetam Thobert Lewis, or MJ - Lew to his friends, was one of the premier figures in the post-Jazz hiphop era. He pioneered several musical techniques, including the record-scratch, the hip-rock and the Helen Keller Dance.
Sadly, MJ-Lew's musical career was cut short by WWII. MJ-Lew enlisted in the Air Force and quickly rose to the top of the ranks. As an ace fighter, he was known as Thobert "Fast-Strike" Lewis. Thobert flew in several battles over Germany and Nazi-occupied France before being reassigned to the elite Spitting Mongeese.
....
The mission of the Spitting Mongeese was to the destroy the Iron Eagle, the Nazi equivalent of Air Force One. They spent most of the war watching and waiting.
Until one fateful day, the Iron Eagle flew from Germany to Paris with only a five fighter escort. The Mongeese struck.
But they were sold out. One of the Mongeese was secretly a German agent. He betrayed the mission and, instead of finding the Iron Eagle defended by five fighters, the Spitting Mongeese found themselves up against fifty.
After an hour of WWII's most intense dog fighting, the Iron Eagle managed to escape. In the course of the battle, seven of the eight Mongeese were shot down. None of the Nazi fighters survived.
Thobert was one of the men shot down, but he managed to survive. He went to ground in Germany and started waging a war of terror against the Nazi regime. Eventually, he met the stunning Tressia Britton, a German farmer's daughter. She gave him food, shelter and, after a few years, passionate love.
Sadly, Thobert's political enemies managed to persuade the Air Force Command that Thobert had betrayed the Mongeese. Thobert found himself trapped between the deadly clutches of the Gestapo and American secret agents.
At the same time, money grew tight and Tressia became pregnant. A desperate Thobert turned to a life of crime. He was recruited by shadowy forces to steal the fabled Blue Ring Octopus. In November of 1956, he made his move.
He was captured and executed the same day his only daughter, Viola Lewis, was born.
Read more!
Mjlewiszitomedianetam Thobert Lewis, or MJ - Lew to his friends, was one of the premier figures in the post-Jazz hiphop era. He pioneered several musical techniques, including the record-scratch, the hip-rock and the Helen Keller Dance.
Sadly, MJ-Lew's musical career was cut short by WWII. MJ-Lew enlisted in the Air Force and quickly rose to the top of the ranks. As an ace fighter, he was known as Thobert "Fast-Strike" Lewis. Thobert flew in several battles over Germany and Nazi-occupied France before being reassigned to the elite Spitting Mongeese.
....
The mission of the Spitting Mongeese was to the destroy the Iron Eagle, the Nazi equivalent of Air Force One. They spent most of the war watching and waiting.
Until one fateful day, the Iron Eagle flew from Germany to Paris with only a five fighter escort. The Mongeese struck.
But they were sold out. One of the Mongeese was secretly a German agent. He betrayed the mission and, instead of finding the Iron Eagle defended by five fighters, the Spitting Mongeese found themselves up against fifty.
After an hour of WWII's most intense dog fighting, the Iron Eagle managed to escape. In the course of the battle, seven of the eight Mongeese were shot down. None of the Nazi fighters survived.
Thobert was one of the men shot down, but he managed to survive. He went to ground in Germany and started waging a war of terror against the Nazi regime. Eventually, he met the stunning Tressia Britton, a German farmer's daughter. She gave him food, shelter and, after a few years, passionate love.
Sadly, Thobert's political enemies managed to persuade the Air Force Command that Thobert had betrayed the Mongeese. Thobert found himself trapped between the deadly clutches of the Gestapo and American secret agents.
At the same time, money grew tight and Tressia became pregnant. A desperate Thobert turned to a life of crime. He was recruited by shadowy forces to steal the fabled Blue Ring Octopus. In November of 1956, he made his move.
He was captured and executed the same day his only daughter, Viola Lewis, was born.
Read more!
Why are you intimitating to men?
There are several reasons men find me intimidating. The first and most obvious is my towering intellect. It makes men feel inadequate. Often, men will approach me with a one liner like, "how's it going?" or "Hey, aren't you in my math class? What's the homework?" and my witty riposte ("Good until now" and "I'd explain, but you wouldn't understand") makes them cry and beg for mercy.
Second, I'm amazingly good looking. Lots of guys walk up to me and try to start flirting, only to be captivated by my huge, luscious, bouncing breasts. Look, I get it, they're hard not to stare at, especially not when I wear a push up bra that's a full cup size too small. But at least try.
Third, my fashion sense. I'm always sporting the latest styles (often before they catch on), so I always look fantastic. Guys are often scared they'll look like hobos compared to me. They do.
Fourth, I'm a strong independent woman. I have my own opinions about stuff. Like the other day, this guy was trying to say that Obama was a great president. And I was like, uh, no, he's a terrorist hiding in Pakistan! Then he tried to tell me I didn't know anything about politics. And I was like, just cause I'm a woman? Sexist moron.
Finally, men are intimidated by me because I'm better than everyone else. Like, other girls can't keep a man because they're ugly, fat, mean, slutty or jealous. I'm just intimidating. So it's not really my fault, cause I'm awesome. It's everyone else. Read more!
Second, I'm amazingly good looking. Lots of guys walk up to me and try to start flirting, only to be captivated by my huge, luscious, bouncing breasts. Look, I get it, they're hard not to stare at, especially not when I wear a push up bra that's a full cup size too small. But at least try.
Third, my fashion sense. I'm always sporting the latest styles (often before they catch on), so I always look fantastic. Guys are often scared they'll look like hobos compared to me. They do.
Fourth, I'm a strong independent woman. I have my own opinions about stuff. Like the other day, this guy was trying to say that Obama was a great president. And I was like, uh, no, he's a terrorist hiding in Pakistan! Then he tried to tell me I didn't know anything about politics. And I was like, just cause I'm a woman? Sexist moron.
Finally, men are intimidated by me because I'm better than everyone else. Like, other girls can't keep a man because they're ugly, fat, mean, slutty or jealous. I'm just intimidating. So it's not really my fault, cause I'm awesome. It's everyone else. Read more!
How were Aztec priests different from the priests today- and discuss their role?
This is an interesting question. The main differences between Aztec Priests and Catholic Priests are threefold:
1. Wardrobe - Aztec Priests wore really cool hats with feathers and bones and stuff. Priests today wear robes. In both cases, however, the role of the special garments is the same - to emphasize the Priests' social status.
2. Chastity - Priests today are usually not allowed to have sex. Aztec Priests were under no such compulsion. This meant that, in Aztec society, they often increased the genetic diversity of the population by spreading their seed. In this way, they were similar to European village "studs".
3. Connection to war - Catholic Priests are imperialist stooges of the military-industrial-entertainment complex. Aztec Priests played a moderating role in foreign policy and often encouraged chieftains to restrain their bloodlust. Both types of priest were meant to speak truth to power, but the kind of truth was different based on culture.
That's all I can think of. The religious ceremonies are slightly different, too, I guess. But, when you think about it, is communion really that different from beheading someone and eating their heart? Read more!
1. Wardrobe - Aztec Priests wore really cool hats with feathers and bones and stuff. Priests today wear robes. In both cases, however, the role of the special garments is the same - to emphasize the Priests' social status.
2. Chastity - Priests today are usually not allowed to have sex. Aztec Priests were under no such compulsion. This meant that, in Aztec society, they often increased the genetic diversity of the population by spreading their seed. In this way, they were similar to European village "studs".
3. Connection to war - Catholic Priests are imperialist stooges of the military-industrial-entertainment complex. Aztec Priests played a moderating role in foreign policy and often encouraged chieftains to restrain their bloodlust. Both types of priest were meant to speak truth to power, but the kind of truth was different based on culture.
That's all I can think of. The religious ceremonies are slightly different, too, I guess. But, when you think about it, is communion really that different from beheading someone and eating their heart? Read more!
What do the letters h o w mean on an Alcoholics Anonymous birthday chip?
The letters H O W on an Alcoholics Anonymous birthday chip are an "insider secret" that is not revealed until you've completed step 8. Lucky for you, I am a level 23 AA grand wizard, and as such, I am qualified to answer. They stand for "Hang Out With," indicating that, for one day only, you are considered cool enough to party with level 15 or higher anonymous alcoholics. Once you've worked to the higher levels of the program, there are strict restrictions on participant behavior, so as to discourage alcoholics from skipping levels, undermining the effectiveness of the program overall. Remember, Alcoholics Anonymous is all about controlling and disciplining members until they conform with a rigid hierarchy that makes high-level wizards like me feel really important.
Read more!
Bleed after poop?
As is mostly the case, our answers get taken down to get answered legitimately, one would hope. But, this is a follow up that I couldn't resist sharing. None of us did this, it happened on its own.
A: You could have bowel cancer, so you should really go to your doctor and get it checked out.
Now, I know my answer originally was silly, but, at least I didn't tell the poor grammatically retarded person asking the question that they had bowel cancer, that's just mean. Read more!
A: You could have bowel cancer, so you should really go to your doctor and get it checked out.
Now, I know my answer originally was silly, but, at least I didn't tell the poor grammatically retarded person asking the question that they had bowel cancer, that's just mean. Read more!
August 27, 2009
Fan Submission 8-27-09
What are the names of Zack and Cody on the show suite life on deck?
Today parents are becoming more and more irresponsible when it comes to what our children watch these days. Children are being brainwashed by shows like That's So Raven and the like. To answer your question, their real names are actually Muhkahara Naki and Shimbaba Flimflam, two Muslim extremists with a history that's been swept under the rug. Trying to lead normal American lives, they are closely monitored by the FCC, CIA, MIB, NAACP, and the Black Panthers. None of them bother to actually view the program or otherwise they would have put a stop to the madness a long time ago. Read more!
Today parents are becoming more and more irresponsible when it comes to what our children watch these days. Children are being brainwashed by shows like That's So Raven and the like. To answer your question, their real names are actually Muhkahara Naki and Shimbaba Flimflam, two Muslim extremists with a history that's been swept under the rug. Trying to lead normal American lives, they are closely monitored by the FCC, CIA, MIB, NAACP, and the Black Panthers. None of them bother to actually view the program or otherwise they would have put a stop to the madness a long time ago. Read more!
August 26, 2009
Bleed after poop?
Bleed after poop was a common practice during the Dark Ages of Europe in which people who were thought to be possessed by fey, better known today as the fairy people, were expunged of their woes. The fairy usually was thought to have flown into boisterous people's mouths while they were bragging and as such, would spread fairy dust into their blood breeding more fairies while they made their escape in the person's poop the next day. It was thought that this would create a devastating cycle where fairies would keep being born in people's blood and move to their stomachs to spread more dust before escaping eventually making the person become more and more obese until they exploded. The solution was invented by Italian alchemist Verde Poppa after he believed his nagging, fattening wife to be infected. The process involved strapping a person to a bucket which the person would poop in then be immediately instructed to clench their anus as tightly as possible in order to prevent the fairy from escaping back from where they came. The next step was to set the bucket on fire while simultaneously slitting the patients wrist horizontally. By letting out profuse amounts of blood it was thought you could purge enough fairy dust as to prevent the next generation of fairies being born. While this process was painful, it actually had a fairly high success rate as after being performed it usually killed its patient and as autopsies would show, had eliminated any fairy in the person's bowels. In the end, fairies were hunted nearly to extinction and today the only live colonies left on Earth can be found in Rush Limbaugh and Rosie O'Donnell.
Read more!
August 25, 2009
What is the names of the 6 factors that can affect climate?
The six factors that can affect climate are as follows:
1. The surface temperature of the sun.
2. The relative heat of asteroids, meteorites, and other extraterrestrial debris compared to the absolute heat of the Earth.
3. The average number of people who leave their windows open with their AC's on.
4. God's Will
5. Cow flatulence
6. Volcanoes. Read more!
1. The surface temperature of the sun.
2. The relative heat of asteroids, meteorites, and other extraterrestrial debris compared to the absolute heat of the Earth.
3. The average number of people who leave their windows open with their AC's on.
4. God's Will
5. Cow flatulence
6. Volcanoes. Read more!
August 23, 2009
When did swordplay originate?
Swordplay is an elegant, yet demanding art that has been practiced amongst men of high society for millennia. It is thought to have emerged in prehistoric Greece, which would explain the unprecedented prowess of the early Greek people. While history best remembers the Greeks for the contributions to architecture and philosophy, their most lasting contribution to humanity may be the invention of swordplay.
We don't know exactly how or when swordplay originated. We do know that the activity appears fully erect in the earliest written records of Greek Civilization. Based on the legendary Dionysian tablet (think ESPN for the original Olympic games), anthropologists have deduced that swordplay is derived from an early form of Greco-Roman wrestling, which usually featured two well-muscled men rolling around in hot oil for the physical pleasure of crowd and competitor alike.
As it turns out, certain of these bronzed Greeks, caught up in the heat of the moment, could not keep their swords sheathed. To keep wrestling family-friendly, the derivative sport of swordplay was invented, along with its own special rules. In these no-holds-barred encounters, the new rules greatly advantaged those with the largest implements and the longest endurance.
Unfortunately, the epicurian art of swordplay has not always been so rewarding. It was strongly repressed during the Victorian period. Ironically, some of its biggest opponents turned out to be closeted swordplay enthusiasts. Today, it beginning to reemerge, but still has significant social baggage associated with it. If you want to engage in swordplay, be sure to do so loudly and proudly, but always use proper protection. Read more!
We don't know exactly how or when swordplay originated. We do know that the activity appears fully erect in the earliest written records of Greek Civilization. Based on the legendary Dionysian tablet (think ESPN for the original Olympic games), anthropologists have deduced that swordplay is derived from an early form of Greco-Roman wrestling, which usually featured two well-muscled men rolling around in hot oil for the physical pleasure of crowd and competitor alike.
As it turns out, certain of these bronzed Greeks, caught up in the heat of the moment, could not keep their swords sheathed. To keep wrestling family-friendly, the derivative sport of swordplay was invented, along with its own special rules. In these no-holds-barred encounters, the new rules greatly advantaged those with the largest implements and the longest endurance.
Unfortunately, the epicurian art of swordplay has not always been so rewarding. It was strongly repressed during the Victorian period. Ironically, some of its biggest opponents turned out to be closeted swordplay enthusiasts. Today, it beginning to reemerge, but still has significant social baggage associated with it. If you want to engage in swordplay, be sure to do so loudly and proudly, but always use proper protection. Read more!
What is a ice particle?
By Ice Particle, I assume you mean the smallest unit of ice that is still ice. That's called a Meson. A Mesons is one type of Hardon; the other is Baryon. Baryons are found primarily in steam.
A meson is the basic building block of ice molecules. It is composed of a quark and an anti quark. Quarks have properties like spin, charge, top/bottom, flavor and strangeness. The interaction of these properties is what gives each meson its unique characteristics. For example, a Strange and Charming meson might become a snowflake.
Based on this, you might think that a quark is the smallest unit of ice. It's not. A single quark isn't ice any more than an Oxygen atom is Air. In order for it to behave like ice, a quark needs to be part of a meson.
I hope this helps. If this answer is confusing, be sure to check the Wikipedia articles on Mesons and quarks. I found them very informative. Read more!
A meson is the basic building block of ice molecules. It is composed of a quark and an anti quark. Quarks have properties like spin, charge, top/bottom, flavor and strangeness. The interaction of these properties is what gives each meson its unique characteristics. For example, a Strange and Charming meson might become a snowflake.
Based on this, you might think that a quark is the smallest unit of ice. It's not. A single quark isn't ice any more than an Oxygen atom is Air. In order for it to behave like ice, a quark needs to be part of a meson.
I hope this helps. If this answer is confusing, be sure to check the Wikipedia articles on Mesons and quarks. I found them very informative. Read more!
Things to say with your boyfriend on the phone?
Everyone's always talking about their three and four hour phone conversations. I don't buy it. There's just not that much to talk about unless you're saying, "I love you more," "No I love you more," over and over again. That's lame. This stuff is much better:
1. How was your day?
2. Please, explain that sport to me in detail.
3. I love video games, but I've never played that one. What's it like?
4. Are you sure you want to wait? Sooner or later it comes down to chance, so I might as well be the one.
5. I love you!
6. Don't you have anything to say?
7. Thank you? I tell you I love you and you say thank you?
8. I'm not being unreasonable!
9. No, you're just scared of commitment!
10. What? Two weeks is plenty!
11. Then maybe we're not right for each other.
12. Fine.
13. Fine.
14. No, it's fine.
15. I'm sure your sorry.
16. No, that's not sarcasm.
17. Then try this: "You're great in bed!" Get it that time?
18. I'll tell my friends you're horribly deformed down there.
19. They already think I'm a slut.
20. Go die. Read more!
1. How was your day?
2. Please, explain that sport to me in detail.
3. I love video games, but I've never played that one. What's it like?
4. Are you sure you want to wait? Sooner or later it comes down to chance, so I might as well be the one.
5. I love you!
6. Don't you have anything to say?
7. Thank you? I tell you I love you and you say thank you?
8. I'm not being unreasonable!
9. No, you're just scared of commitment!
10. What? Two weeks is plenty!
11. Then maybe we're not right for each other.
12. Fine.
13. Fine.
14. No, it's fine.
15. I'm sure your sorry.
16. No, that's not sarcasm.
17. Then try this: "You're great in bed!" Get it that time?
18. I'll tell my friends you're horribly deformed down there.
19. They already think I'm a slut.
20. Go die. Read more!
Give an assay on Do undo others as you would others do undo you?
Sure thing. Here's what I've got:
The principle "Do undo other as you would others do undo you" is sometimes called the Golden Rule. Every society has some version of this commandment. Confucius once said "Act unto man with the honor due to you." In the Torah, this commandment is stated as "As you would desire be done unto you, do so also." The Koran has a similar law.
The Golden Rule is interesting from a sociological perspective, but it's more interesting on a personal level. How can I, as a member of modern society, follow this rule? I lived an entire day following this rule and noted some of the results.
....
At the beginning of the day, I woke up and ate breakfast. I was going to have cereal, but some drank the last of the milk and didn't replace it. I was going to go stomp some heads, but then I remembered my essay on the Golden Rule.
Instead of violence, I used a note to express my displeasure. I left it on the refrigerator so that whoever keeps drinking the milk will read it. I wish I knew who it was. I live alone; this whole thing's starting to freak me out.
Next I went out and got the mail. It was nothing but junk. I was about to throw it away, but then I remembered the Golden Rule. If I'd written someone a letter, I'd want a reply. I sat down and wrote letters to each of the companies. I thanked them for their brochures but said I couldn't afford any of their products at the current time.
That made me late for work. As a result, I was going to speed on my morning commute. But that's dangerous, so I slowed down and followed the Golden Rule.
I showed up half an hour late for work. My boss yelled at me until he was red in the face and then fired me. I thought he was being unreasonable, but if I'd just yelled at someone and fired them, I'd want them to act sad. So I turned on the waterworks and begged for my job. It didn't work.
That left me lots of time for lunch. I went to a diner and got a grilled cheese sandwich. It was horribly burned and the waiter was snotty. But I might be too, if I were a waiter, so I left him a big tip to try to cheer him up.
After lunch I went out to get in my car. Someone had side-swiped it. I looked around the parking lot and noticed an SUV with a suspicious my-car's-color paint smear. I thought about calling the police.
But if I'd hit my car, I'd be hoping to sneak away. I decided to play along. When the owner of the SUV came back a few minutes later, I smiled at her and winked. She gave me the middle finger.
On my drive home, I was careful to be as considerate of other drivers as possible. Everyone else was rudely passing an old woman going 35 in the middle lane. But I hate it when everyone passes me, so I played along and drove behind her. I got rear ended, but the driver rushed away. I remembered my experience at the diner and went with it.
When I got home, the note on my fridge was gone. In its place was a tersely worded letter claiming that I was squatting in someone else's house. I pay rent, so I'm pretty sure this isn't true. The person who wrote the note said he liked to watch me sleep and if I didn't leave soon, I'd be sorry.
It sounded like he needed some space. I understood, sometimes I need space too. So I decided to drop in on my girlfriend.
I don’t like it when she comes by unannounced, so I called her on the way. She picked up but she seemed kind of out of breath and flustered. I told her about my day and said I really needed to talk. She didn't sound excited about me coming over. But sometimes I'm not excited about her coming over for one of our "talks" and I let her anyway. So I figured it probably wouldn't violate the Golden Rule to go over.
When I got there, this guy was pulling out of the driveway. He drove a real old, beaten up car and he wasn't wearing a shirt. Naturally, I started to assume the worst. But then I thought, I'd like my girlfriend to give me the benefit of the doubt, so I should do the same for her. The man must be a handyman.
I went inside and found my girlfriend naked in her bed. The sheets were all messed up. I asked her what happened and she said she'd had a bad dream. I said it was kind of late to be sleeping and she said the dreams had kept her up all night. She looked really upset.
I was starting to get suspicious again until I remembered the Golden Rule. When I'm upset, I like it when she hugs me. So I got into bed with her and we cuddled.
As we were cuddling, her eyes kept going to the closet door. When I looked at it, I could see someone moving around inside.
I hate being stuck in closets. I tried to imagine what it must be like for the guy hiding in the closet. Probably super awkward. I mean, my girlfriend's naked on the bed.
I got up and opened the closet. A naked man jumped out, punched me in the face and ran away.
I thought the punch was mean but, in his position, I might have done the same. I was going to chase him, but then I remembered the Golden Rule. If I’d just been doing some other guy’s girlfriend and then he found me in her closet, I’d be super scared and want to escape. So I closed the closet and got back in bed with my girlfriend.
I was mad, but I tried to imagine what it would be like if I was cheating on her and she caught me. I’d feel really bad if she was heartbroken. I’d rather die than hurt her like that and watch her cry and yell and scream. So I strangled her.
As you can see, a day following the golden rule was a truly enlightening experience. It changed the way I think about driving, eating in restaurants and treating members of the opposite sex. I think all of us could profit from a day strictly following the Golden Rule.
Read more!
The principle "Do undo other as you would others do undo you" is sometimes called the Golden Rule. Every society has some version of this commandment. Confucius once said "Act unto man with the honor due to you." In the Torah, this commandment is stated as "As you would desire be done unto you, do so also." The Koran has a similar law.
The Golden Rule is interesting from a sociological perspective, but it's more interesting on a personal level. How can I, as a member of modern society, follow this rule? I lived an entire day following this rule and noted some of the results.
....
At the beginning of the day, I woke up and ate breakfast. I was going to have cereal, but some drank the last of the milk and didn't replace it. I was going to go stomp some heads, but then I remembered my essay on the Golden Rule.
Instead of violence, I used a note to express my displeasure. I left it on the refrigerator so that whoever keeps drinking the milk will read it. I wish I knew who it was. I live alone; this whole thing's starting to freak me out.
Next I went out and got the mail. It was nothing but junk. I was about to throw it away, but then I remembered the Golden Rule. If I'd written someone a letter, I'd want a reply. I sat down and wrote letters to each of the companies. I thanked them for their brochures but said I couldn't afford any of their products at the current time.
That made me late for work. As a result, I was going to speed on my morning commute. But that's dangerous, so I slowed down and followed the Golden Rule.
I showed up half an hour late for work. My boss yelled at me until he was red in the face and then fired me. I thought he was being unreasonable, but if I'd just yelled at someone and fired them, I'd want them to act sad. So I turned on the waterworks and begged for my job. It didn't work.
That left me lots of time for lunch. I went to a diner and got a grilled cheese sandwich. It was horribly burned and the waiter was snotty. But I might be too, if I were a waiter, so I left him a big tip to try to cheer him up.
After lunch I went out to get in my car. Someone had side-swiped it. I looked around the parking lot and noticed an SUV with a suspicious my-car's-color paint smear. I thought about calling the police.
But if I'd hit my car, I'd be hoping to sneak away. I decided to play along. When the owner of the SUV came back a few minutes later, I smiled at her and winked. She gave me the middle finger.
On my drive home, I was careful to be as considerate of other drivers as possible. Everyone else was rudely passing an old woman going 35 in the middle lane. But I hate it when everyone passes me, so I played along and drove behind her. I got rear ended, but the driver rushed away. I remembered my experience at the diner and went with it.
When I got home, the note on my fridge was gone. In its place was a tersely worded letter claiming that I was squatting in someone else's house. I pay rent, so I'm pretty sure this isn't true. The person who wrote the note said he liked to watch me sleep and if I didn't leave soon, I'd be sorry.
It sounded like he needed some space. I understood, sometimes I need space too. So I decided to drop in on my girlfriend.
I don’t like it when she comes by unannounced, so I called her on the way. She picked up but she seemed kind of out of breath and flustered. I told her about my day and said I really needed to talk. She didn't sound excited about me coming over. But sometimes I'm not excited about her coming over for one of our "talks" and I let her anyway. So I figured it probably wouldn't violate the Golden Rule to go over.
When I got there, this guy was pulling out of the driveway. He drove a real old, beaten up car and he wasn't wearing a shirt. Naturally, I started to assume the worst. But then I thought, I'd like my girlfriend to give me the benefit of the doubt, so I should do the same for her. The man must be a handyman.
I went inside and found my girlfriend naked in her bed. The sheets were all messed up. I asked her what happened and she said she'd had a bad dream. I said it was kind of late to be sleeping and she said the dreams had kept her up all night. She looked really upset.
I was starting to get suspicious again until I remembered the Golden Rule. When I'm upset, I like it when she hugs me. So I got into bed with her and we cuddled.
As we were cuddling, her eyes kept going to the closet door. When I looked at it, I could see someone moving around inside.
I hate being stuck in closets. I tried to imagine what it must be like for the guy hiding in the closet. Probably super awkward. I mean, my girlfriend's naked on the bed.
I got up and opened the closet. A naked man jumped out, punched me in the face and ran away.
I thought the punch was mean but, in his position, I might have done the same. I was going to chase him, but then I remembered the Golden Rule. If I’d just been doing some other guy’s girlfriend and then he found me in her closet, I’d be super scared and want to escape. So I closed the closet and got back in bed with my girlfriend.
I was mad, but I tried to imagine what it would be like if I was cheating on her and she caught me. I’d feel really bad if she was heartbroken. I’d rather die than hurt her like that and watch her cry and yell and scream. So I strangled her.
As you can see, a day following the golden rule was a truly enlightening experience. It changed the way I think about driving, eating in restaurants and treating members of the opposite sex. I think all of us could profit from a day strictly following the Golden Rule.
Read more!
Can you reenlist after being discharged for stating that you are gay but you aren't gay you just now want back in?
Its strange to me that simply stating that you are gay was enough for you to get discharged. Standard military operating procedure for evaluation of claims of homosexuality have included a blood test since President Reagan issued executive order #26743 in 1983 to prevent the scenario you just described from taking place en masse. The order was issued due to popular opposition to the Cold War amongst soldiers, who often claimed to be gay in order to avoid being deployed in Siberia (they didn't call it the Cold War for nothing!).
Dr. Jorge Mariposa, Esq. developed the test after his 1979 discovery that red blood cells in homosexuals had a tendency to attempt cellular reproduction with other red blood cells of the same gender. Since then, it has always been a simple matter for the military to determine if you are gay or not.
If you were discharged for homosexuality without having blood work done, it probably means your CO just didn't like you. If you want back in, you should ask your doctor for the "Mariposa test," and bring the results to your nearest recruiter. Read more!
What is a competent child?
Good question! Some people think that a child's competence is a subjective determination. Some people also think the world is flat and the moon is made of cheese. Of course there's an objective way to determine whether or not your child is competent. There are five main areas of endeavor for children, and any child who excels in at least three of these categories is to be considered "competent," A child who excels in four categories is considered "gifted," and a child who excels in all five is "exceptional." Any child who fails to excel in at least three of these areas is considered "defective," and should be returned at your earliest convenience.
The five areas are imaginary friendship, particle physics, musicology, yachtsmanship, and archery. To demonstrate excellence in these categories, the child must pass a state-licensed competence exam, which include both a written and a practical section. You should contact your congressperson to find the nearest testing facility. Children are required to take these exams before the second Monday of the second month after their eighth birthday, unless the child has an extenuating circumstance like dyslexia, asthma, or irritable bowel syndrome, in which case he or she may be eligible for an extension.
Good luck to your child on his or her test day! Read more!
How do you find bobe?
Finding Bobe is probably the hardest mission in the first half of SkyScone Knight. Some people compare it to the Dark Wurmster fight just before the last boss fight. But if you follow these tips, it shouldn't give you any trouble:
1. Make sure your party is at least on level 24. Mirriam learns Deadly Twist Scream on level 23 and Will Slycer learns From Nape to Nibs on level 24. Also, makes sure Bubbum has a good healing spell. Cure III (level 20) is good, but Rectify (level 27) is better.
2. Heal your party. Then stock up on Lizard Tails, WereEmu Eggs and Stalker Stones. The Lizard Tails and are a key component in Bubbum's Transmutation skills which will prove invaluable. Mirriam's Nurture skill can turn the Eggs into powerful WereEmus. The Stalker Stones are self-explanatory.
....
3. Go to the Swamp of Peril at night. Fight the Mimic Ooze and Beetlekin until you've collected three Slimy Carapaces and five Soggy Faux-Boots. Then approach the Gnarled Oak at the center of the map.
4. When you approach the Oak with the right components, a Boggart will appear. If your Intimidation skill is Rapscallion-Daunting or higher, he'll give you a Late Evening Fairy. If not, you'll have to fight him. He uses Venomous Dung Beetle Roll, Teeth of Rotting Fury and restores his health with VitaWallow. In other words, he's just a beefed up version of the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels you fought on the road between Avenville and Troppol.
5. Once you have the Late Evening Fairy, leave the swamp. Return the next day in early morning. Approach the Gnarled Oak.
6. The fairy will be asleep. Bubbum will suggest you come back in late evening. I know, this is stupid, but you have to do it.
7. Return in the late evening. The fairy will wake as you enter the Swamp and begin to guide you. WARNING: while the fairy's guiding you, Sleepless Synopouds will attack you in droves. I recommend dodging them. You don't have the HP, MP, AP or KP to deal with Salivary Drains at this point in the game.
8. After circling the swamp FOREVER the fairy eventually leads you to a secret passage. This grants you access to Twiddling Forest. At the entrance, you'll see the Dark Lord Vell grab Bobe and run away. Give chase. Bad guys in Twiddling Forest include Dark Crows, Light Crows, Fire Crows, WereCrows, Dire Crows and Vell Crows.
9. Keep chasing Vell until he passes the three Scarecrows. You'll have to fight them. If you've acquired any crow's feathers, use Bubbum's Transmutation to Forge them into a WeatherFane. Each turn, the WeatherFane will summon a Cleric Crow who will fight for you. After a few rounds, this really starts to add up. I recommend letting the Cleric Crows handle the end of the fight while you use items and Bubbum's spells to heal the party.
10. Finally! You get to fight Vell for Bobe's freedom. Once the Scarecrows are dead, Vell will jump you. He's at an incredibly high level and he's immune to Mind Control, Juggling, and Spite damage. The main danger is his Flambast attack (an AoE fire attack). Keep your party spread out and heal often. If a party member drops below half health, Vell will cast Egregious Symmetry (randomly redistributing your party's health) and then Flambast. Bad luck on the Symmetry can result in several party members dying to the flame attack.
Once you've gotten Vell down to half health, he changes form and tactics. Now, he'll summon a Dire Crow every turn. This is where Bubbum's transmutation comes in: Lizard Tails and Crow Eyes unleash the Scalar Death Matrix which causes each enemy to lose health equal to ten percent of a randomly chosen enemy. If the randomly chosen enemy is a crow, this is pretty worthless. But every time you hit Vell, all of his crows will die and he'll be down 10%.
When not summoning crows, Vell will use Frozen Mulch to lower your party's speed and KP and Electro Shock Vampirism to heal himself, damage your party and get a Static Sheild on himself. A party member frozen in place next to Vell while he has his Static Sheild is as good as dead. Vell stops using Egregious Symmetry and upgrades to Fateful Parity. Watch out.
Once Vell hits 10% health, he transforms again. He absorbs any Crows still alive (+5% HP for each) and becomes Vell, Crow Sovereign. Once he's in this form, you have three turns to kill him. On turn one, he summons the Crow of Death (casts Tepid Trepanation to drain MP and HP). Turn two brings the Crow of Time (casts Slowly Stupify to freeze one party member in place for the remainder of the fight). On turn three, Vell summons the Crow of Life. If Vell isn't dead by the end of the turn, the Crow of Life will restore him to full health, making the fight impossible.
If you manage to defeat Vell, the Crows will vanish. Bobe will join your party and give you the Pot of Crow, which is a reusable item that restores HP and KP. It's useful until about 75% of the way through the game.
Wow, that's a hard mission. On my first run through, it took 5 tries. Good luck! Remember, save often!
Read more!
1. Make sure your party is at least on level 24. Mirriam learns Deadly Twist Scream on level 23 and Will Slycer learns From Nape to Nibs on level 24. Also, makes sure Bubbum has a good healing spell. Cure III (level 20) is good, but Rectify (level 27) is better.
2. Heal your party. Then stock up on Lizard Tails, WereEmu Eggs and Stalker Stones. The Lizard Tails and are a key component in Bubbum's Transmutation skills which will prove invaluable. Mirriam's Nurture skill can turn the Eggs into powerful WereEmus. The Stalker Stones are self-explanatory.
....
3. Go to the Swamp of Peril at night. Fight the Mimic Ooze and Beetlekin until you've collected three Slimy Carapaces and five Soggy Faux-Boots. Then approach the Gnarled Oak at the center of the map.
4. When you approach the Oak with the right components, a Boggart will appear. If your Intimidation skill is Rapscallion-Daunting or higher, he'll give you a Late Evening Fairy. If not, you'll have to fight him. He uses Venomous Dung Beetle Roll, Teeth of Rotting Fury and restores his health with VitaWallow. In other words, he's just a beefed up version of the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels you fought on the road between Avenville and Troppol.
5. Once you have the Late Evening Fairy, leave the swamp. Return the next day in early morning. Approach the Gnarled Oak.
6. The fairy will be asleep. Bubbum will suggest you come back in late evening. I know, this is stupid, but you have to do it.
7. Return in the late evening. The fairy will wake as you enter the Swamp and begin to guide you. WARNING: while the fairy's guiding you, Sleepless Synopouds will attack you in droves. I recommend dodging them. You don't have the HP, MP, AP or KP to deal with Salivary Drains at this point in the game.
8. After circling the swamp FOREVER the fairy eventually leads you to a secret passage. This grants you access to Twiddling Forest. At the entrance, you'll see the Dark Lord Vell grab Bobe and run away. Give chase. Bad guys in Twiddling Forest include Dark Crows, Light Crows, Fire Crows, WereCrows, Dire Crows and Vell Crows.
9. Keep chasing Vell until he passes the three Scarecrows. You'll have to fight them. If you've acquired any crow's feathers, use Bubbum's Transmutation to Forge them into a WeatherFane. Each turn, the WeatherFane will summon a Cleric Crow who will fight for you. After a few rounds, this really starts to add up. I recommend letting the Cleric Crows handle the end of the fight while you use items and Bubbum's spells to heal the party.
10. Finally! You get to fight Vell for Bobe's freedom. Once the Scarecrows are dead, Vell will jump you. He's at an incredibly high level and he's immune to Mind Control, Juggling, and Spite damage. The main danger is his Flambast attack (an AoE fire attack). Keep your party spread out and heal often. If a party member drops below half health, Vell will cast Egregious Symmetry (randomly redistributing your party's health) and then Flambast. Bad luck on the Symmetry can result in several party members dying to the flame attack.
Once you've gotten Vell down to half health, he changes form and tactics. Now, he'll summon a Dire Crow every turn. This is where Bubbum's transmutation comes in: Lizard Tails and Crow Eyes unleash the Scalar Death Matrix which causes each enemy to lose health equal to ten percent of a randomly chosen enemy. If the randomly chosen enemy is a crow, this is pretty worthless. But every time you hit Vell, all of his crows will die and he'll be down 10%.
When not summoning crows, Vell will use Frozen Mulch to lower your party's speed and KP and Electro Shock Vampirism to heal himself, damage your party and get a Static Sheild on himself. A party member frozen in place next to Vell while he has his Static Sheild is as good as dead. Vell stops using Egregious Symmetry and upgrades to Fateful Parity. Watch out.
Once Vell hits 10% health, he transforms again. He absorbs any Crows still alive (+5% HP for each) and becomes Vell, Crow Sovereign. Once he's in this form, you have three turns to kill him. On turn one, he summons the Crow of Death (casts Tepid Trepanation to drain MP and HP). Turn two brings the Crow of Time (casts Slowly Stupify to freeze one party member in place for the remainder of the fight). On turn three, Vell summons the Crow of Life. If Vell isn't dead by the end of the turn, the Crow of Life will restore him to full health, making the fight impossible.
If you manage to defeat Vell, the Crows will vanish. Bobe will join your party and give you the Pot of Crow, which is a reusable item that restores HP and KP. It's useful until about 75% of the way through the game.
Wow, that's a hard mission. On my first run through, it took 5 tries. Good luck! Remember, save often!
Read more!
7 deadly sins of hospitality service and their definition?
The seven deadly sins of hospitality are as follows (based on Mark 3:57b-58c):
1. Lust - lusting after one of your house guests is strictly forbidden by biblical law. This is why so many people in the Bible use tents for entertaining guests. A tent isn't technically one's dwelling, so one is free to be as lecherous as desired.
2. Sloth - sloth in preparing one's house is another deadly sin. This is why people (particularly women) go crazy cleaning before a guest comes over.
3. Wrath - regardless of what offensive, ignorant nonsense comes out of your guests' mouths, you are forbidden by the Bible from smiting them. Modern synonyms for 'smiting' include smacking, trouncing, bending over, and whuppin' upside the head with a frying pan.
4. Greed - never invite more people over than your house can hold. Fraternities, I'm looking at you.
5. Acedia - this is one of the lesser known sins, as it has no direct translation in English. To acediack someone is a deadly sin involving defecation, a house pet and, in the modern day, something similar to a toaster oven. This isn't that relevant anymore, but it was a huge problem in Biblical times.
6. Envy - it is a sin to envy the wife, girlfriend, opposite-sex-live-in-friend, or Godless Slutmuffin that your friend brings to your house. It's also a sin to try to steal his ipod.
7. Nudity - if you know people are coming over, put some clothes on. Seriously. Not that hard. Read more!
1. Lust - lusting after one of your house guests is strictly forbidden by biblical law. This is why so many people in the Bible use tents for entertaining guests. A tent isn't technically one's dwelling, so one is free to be as lecherous as desired.
2. Sloth - sloth in preparing one's house is another deadly sin. This is why people (particularly women) go crazy cleaning before a guest comes over.
3. Wrath - regardless of what offensive, ignorant nonsense comes out of your guests' mouths, you are forbidden by the Bible from smiting them. Modern synonyms for 'smiting' include smacking, trouncing, bending over, and whuppin' upside the head with a frying pan.
4. Greed - never invite more people over than your house can hold. Fraternities, I'm looking at you.
5. Acedia - this is one of the lesser known sins, as it has no direct translation in English. To acediack someone is a deadly sin involving defecation, a house pet and, in the modern day, something similar to a toaster oven. This isn't that relevant anymore, but it was a huge problem in Biblical times.
6. Envy - it is a sin to envy the wife, girlfriend, opposite-sex-live-in-friend, or Godless Slutmuffin that your friend brings to your house. It's also a sin to try to steal his ipod.
7. Nudity - if you know people are coming over, put some clothes on. Seriously. Not that hard. Read more!
August 22, 2009
Is ABBA Bail Bonds a good company to go with?
As with all bail bonds companies run by 70's dance musicians, ABBA Bail Bonds has advantages and disadvantages that you should be aware of before going with them. On the plus side, if you decide to skip bail, your bondsmen are contractually obligated to broadcast "Dancing Queen" while hunting you, giving you ample warning to escape. On the minus side, your friends will rag on you mercilessly when you get caught by bounty hunters wearing sequin-laced skintight pleather. And ABBA Bail Bonds never loses a client.
If your lawyer is good, you might decide not to run. This is where the real advantage of ABBA shows through. It might sound like a pretty simple process--and the guys at ABBA are total professionals--but twenty years down the line, going with ABBA Bail Bonds will be the best choice you ever made. Their drug traffiking acquittal-to-high grossing musical conversion ratio is astronomical. You could go from wanted fugitive to budding romantic comedy superstar in a few short decades.
Really, though, the Swedish exchange rate is through the roof these days, and most of their serious fan base will be senile before the release of your musical, so they might not be the best investment. For your musical bail bonds needs, I would recommend something more recent, like Spice Girls Bail Bonds. You get the same basic services with a cheeky British attitude and a 1 in 5 shot of getting to sleep with David Beckham.
Do not under any circumstances go with Prince and the Revolution Bail Bonds, unless you enjoy ritual humiliation at the hands of short men wearing velvet and lace. While the pancakes are good, your reputation probably can't take the hit. Read more!
Why there is a need Need of foreign exchage market and what are it's advantages?
The need for a foreign exchange market is illustrated greatest by a country's need for the expansion of its infrastructure. Whenever mass physical labor rears its ugly head someone needs to step up to the plate and build that road, dam, ferris wheel, or statue of a car crash. As we all know countries own citizenry usually frowns upon doing this labor itself, as the wages the country would pay are so low for the relative work done that they are better off leeching off welfare. Thus, the need to import foreigners for slave labor is born. By putting in "bids" such as weakening border patrols along borders with certain poorer nations they can essentially create a job market, the poorer country cuts off its welfare policies driving its citizenry across the border into the more wealthy nation where they are forced to take up the poorly paying jobs in order to survive. In return, not only does the poor country lose its resource drains, but, receives substantial "aid" from the wealthy country which on face is to feed its citizenry, but, is usually used to buy the nation's congress a new fleet of gold plated BMWs.
The advantages of this are obvious. First, countries are able to expand their infrastructure with a cheap expendable workforce which, when finished, they can deport as being illegal and not worry about paying welfare for when they have children in future generations, and allows poorer nation to ship money from the minimal paying jobs back in order to purchase goods from the wealthy nation thus insuring a stable symbiotic relationship insuring the new world order's ability to protect us all from the most eminent threat of the future, zombies.
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The advantages of this are obvious. First, countries are able to expand their infrastructure with a cheap expendable workforce which, when finished, they can deport as being illegal and not worry about paying welfare for when they have children in future generations, and allows poorer nation to ship money from the minimal paying jobs back in order to purchase goods from the wealthy nation thus insuring a stable symbiotic relationship insuring the new world order's ability to protect us all from the most eminent threat of the future, zombies.
What does the blue ring octopus beelong to?
The blue ring octopus is an exceptionally rare treasure that originally beelonged to the Kuapa people of Eastern New Guinea. It was stolen by the infamous Spanish pirate Pedro Cervantes de Costa Pequenato a Silva (or as most remember him, Black Pepe). Pepe met his demise in a freak tsunami off the coast of Denmark, and the blue ring octopus was thought to have been lost to the sea with him. Fortunately for ring octopus enthusiasts, the rare blue resurfaced a century later in the private collection of eccentric Swedish millionaire Njord Njordrickson. Unfortunately, Njordrickson was not keen on sharing his treasure, and actually threatened to eat the blue ring octopus so he could take it to his grave.
The events of July 19th, 1876 are not clear in the historical record. Some say Njordrickson's longtime butler assassinated him with his own writing quill. Some say Njordrickson was simply the victim of a failed attempt at self-tattooing. What is indisputable is that Njordrickson was found dead in a grisly pool of ink and the blue ring octopus lie next to him, outside its protective cage.
The blue ring octopus was brought to the local police station in an evidence box, but the impressionist movement succeeded in overcoming the authority of the police chief, and maintain the blue ring octopus to this day. It travels between museums in Cairo, Paris, New York, Madrid, Amstertam, and its original home of Eastern New Guinea. It is currently being resurfaced by ring octopus experts, but is due for display in the Lourve in May 2010. Read more!
How do squid do poop?
Few realize this, but, squid do not actually have tentacles, they are rather squid turds stuck in fleshy membranes. This is why you can't count the tentacles a squid has because it varies from specimen to specimen based on how recently they defecated. Keep in mind that this also explains why squid hold the record for the longest single stretch of turd known to man, because a giant squid is capable of mind shatteringly long turds of over 40 feet in length. This is also what gives calimari its distinctive tang. Read more!
August 16, 2009
Name a real contemporary problem where the status quo is lined up against something that is in favor of something that is unjust?
No problem! I'll use Gun Control.
First, note that the status quo position of many pro-regulation parties is anti-free choice relative to ownership of firearms, even, with some exceptions, universally without regard to strict consitutional bounds. This is in opposition to gun enthusiasts who promote a position arguably contrary to the 14th amendment via a grammatic misconstruction of the 2nd. For the sake of discussion, let's posit the free choice on gun violence position as the more virtious when compared to the status quo, though it's somewhat constitutive of it.
Now, said party's interest run contrary to portions of established law (what we'll use for the status quo) and also against the interest of certain previously aformentioned parties. Naturally, from their point of view, they are the force of justice assembling in the status quo to do battle with those lined up on the side of injustice.
Other examples might include Abortion, Education, Healthcare Reform and FGR's. Read more!
First, note that the status quo position of many pro-regulation parties is anti-free choice relative to ownership of firearms, even, with some exceptions, universally without regard to strict consitutional bounds. This is in opposition to gun enthusiasts who promote a position arguably contrary to the 14th amendment via a grammatic misconstruction of the 2nd. For the sake of discussion, let's posit the free choice on gun violence position as the more virtious when compared to the status quo, though it's somewhat constitutive of it.
Now, said party's interest run contrary to portions of established law (what we'll use for the status quo) and also against the interest of certain previously aformentioned parties. Naturally, from their point of view, they are the force of justice assembling in the status quo to do battle with those lined up on the side of injustice.
Other examples might include Abortion, Education, Healthcare Reform and FGR's. Read more!
In dentistry what is a lost sutures?
A lost suture, also called a wandering suture, is a suture that has migrated to outside of the oral cavity.
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You are havin red colour rashes near your anus and also sometimes white sticky fluid is found there.kindly advise?
I am, in fact, not suffering from a rash near my anus or any sort of white, sticky fluid in the area. Frankly, I find your assertion that I do insulting. Someone should look into this questioner - he's making some pretty wild accusations with no proof.
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Is it illegal to ask for money online becuz im a programer who is yung and needs some cash to make this game how i whant so like this all ask peopel t
Is it illegal to ask for money online becuz im a programer who is yung and needs some cash to make this game how i whant so like this all ask peopel to sed money to a po box or something?
Yes. Asking for money online is a serious federal offense. It constitutes mail fraud, wire fraud, internet fraud, banking fraud and petty theft. Unless you get lots of money. Then it might be grand larceny.
Instead of asking random people for money online, try investigating other ways to generate venture capital for your burgeoning gaming company. I recommend using paypal to buy books on the subject from Amazon. If you can't afford new books (and what start up entrepreneur can?) then investigate what's available used on Ebay.
If, even with this help, you're still unable to raise funds, consider setting up a joint promotion with a charity website like WWF or the United Way. That way, you'll draw attention to yourself and be associated with an important cause.
Raising money can be tough, but if you're idea is good, you'll eventually succeed. Good luck on the game! Read more!
August 15, 2009
Is veggie tales catholic?
Common mistake. Actually, Veggie Tales isn't even Christian. It's Wiccan.
Think about it. The entire thing revolves around dancing, singing vegetables (read: Earth Mother). Veggie Tales is the Vegan answer to the Christian assimilation of holidays like the Solstices, the day of the dead, etc. In the same way Christianity modified and absorbed these parts of pagan culture, now pagans are perverting and stealing Bible Stories.
Soon, every child will know the story of King David - particularly the part at the end, where his faith and sacrifices to the Monkey God Kitzschu brought him victory over the Catholic Goliath. Parents, beware. Read more!
Think about it. The entire thing revolves around dancing, singing vegetables (read: Earth Mother). Veggie Tales is the Vegan answer to the Christian assimilation of holidays like the Solstices, the day of the dead, etc. In the same way Christianity modified and absorbed these parts of pagan culture, now pagans are perverting and stealing Bible Stories.
Soon, every child will know the story of King David - particularly the part at the end, where his faith and sacrifices to the Monkey God Kitzschu brought him victory over the Catholic Goliath. Parents, beware. Read more!
Why is prophecy given instead of only fair warnings?
To show off, obviously. I mean, any idiot can guess that things might go wrong if someone doesn't do something. It takes some serious God-Power to tell people exactly how things are going to go wrong and then make them go wrong that way despite everyone's best efforts. That's just impressive. It's like saying what part of the offensive line you're going to blitz and then blitzing it and plowing through the entire other team and sacking their QB, his coach and half of his extended family. I mean, damn. You gotta respect that.
That, and some prophecy is good news, so the whole fair warning thing wouldn't really make sense. Read more!
That, and some prophecy is good news, so the whole fair warning thing wouldn't really make sense. Read more!
What term describes someone who believes that mere mortals are incapable of grasping the knowledge of religion or gods and deities either due to a hig
What term describes someone who believes that mere mortals are incapable of grasping the knowledge of religion or gods and deities either due to a higher power or human ignorance?
A variety of terms, actually. Here's a few:
Agnostic
Agnostic Non-Theist
Annoying Non-Theist
Pretentious
A Know-Nothing
Silly
Pinko Commie Fascist
Mr. Grumpy Bottoms
ChiChi
Hey, you!
Moron
Confused
Inarticulate
To better answer your question, I need clarification on the question. I mean, if a person believed that mere mortals were incapable of grasping knowledge of religion, they'd have to be pretty dumb. Pretty much everyone knows something about some religion.
And if someone believed that there were a higher power preventing humans from finding out about gods and deities, well, that'd be pretty cool. I imagine this higher power and the gods must fight all the time. Read more!
My friend and i r in high school and my friend doesnt have a place 2 live but if he lives at my house i have 2 smoke weed so my mom doesnt get...
My friend and i r in high school and my friend doesnt have a place 2 live but if he lives at my house i have 2 smoke weed so my mom doesnt get irritable and kick him out should i smoke so he can stay?
Wow, that's some pretty potent stuff. I mean... damn. Weed so strong that you smoke it and, suddenly, your mother gets mellow. Your entire family's getting baked off your roll. Your dead relatives are toking in Heaven with you. Impressive.
Putting that to the side for one moment, the answer is easy. Smoking the wackytobaccy kills brain cells. Based on the way your wrote your question, I think you need to stop immediately. Read more!
I had a c-section and got my tubes tied at the same time is it possible to become pregnant at all?
Yes, obviously. Where do you think people come from? If it weren't possible to get pregnant, the human race would have died out millions of years ago. What were you thinking?
The really sad thing is, you started your question by saying you've had a C-Section. You only get a C-Section if you're pregnant! You must be one of those stork-believing lunatics, pretending to be a formerly pregnant woman. Yeah, we've all heard your "testimonials" of people who got pregnant, only to have the swelling disappear nine months later and have a bird deliver their baby. Absurd nonsense.
For too long, Pregnancy Deniers have been allowed to post leading questions on wiki answers. Federal government, I'm calling on you to put a stop to this depraved practice. Read more!
The really sad thing is, you started your question by saying you've had a C-Section. You only get a C-Section if you're pregnant! You must be one of those stork-believing lunatics, pretending to be a formerly pregnant woman. Yeah, we've all heard your "testimonials" of people who got pregnant, only to have the swelling disappear nine months later and have a bird deliver their baby. Absurd nonsense.
For too long, Pregnancy Deniers have been allowed to post leading questions on wiki answers. Federal government, I'm calling on you to put a stop to this depraved practice. Read more!
What is the biological value of lipotropic protein?
The exact biological value of lipotropic protein is hotly disputed. Most bioeconomists believe that proteins, as a class, have inherent value that makes establishing exchange rates difficult. Other believe that the Coase Theorem demonstrates that all substances, even those with a psychologically constructed "True Value", can be bought and sold according to basic market principles.
The answer, at the time of this writing, is as follows. *Note: Exchange rates fluctuate constantly!*
1 unit lipotropic Protein =
1.25 units lipophobic Protein
.75 units of hemoglobin
.5 units of Folic Acid
55 units of Water
3 units of Vitamin B
1 unit of Bile
3.25 teaspoons of Sulfuric Acid
1 pint of Ether
12 Wombat Pelts
9 Yuan
2 Hermit Crabs
12 Mail-Order Collector's Coins Read more!
The answer, at the time of this writing, is as follows. *Note: Exchange rates fluctuate constantly!*
1 unit lipotropic Protein =
1.25 units lipophobic Protein
.75 units of hemoglobin
.5 units of Folic Acid
55 units of Water
3 units of Vitamin B
1 unit of Bile
3.25 teaspoons of Sulfuric Acid
1 pint of Ether
12 Wombat Pelts
9 Yuan
2 Hermit Crabs
12 Mail-Order Collector's Coins Read more!
If you were tied down and tickled for 3 hours would you die?
Good God! You perverted, sick little whelpling of the unholy mother of infernal damnation herself! Perish the thought! Scrub it from your little mind! Remember, better to lose an eye and gain paradise than to gaze upon another being tickled sinfully and then be cast whole into hell.
But, hypothetically, no, probably not. Make sure the victim urinates beforehand, though. Read more!
But, hypothetically, no, probably not. Make sure the victim urinates beforehand, though. Read more!
Why are teenagers so careless?
Well, Bob, this question is as old as time itself. For literally thousands of years, the adolescents of the species have been viewed with skepticism, if not outright hostility, by their older compatriots. And their younger compatriots. And compatriots of roughly the same age, but different socio-economic class. And some compatriots of the same socio-economic class and age. But I digress.
The thing is, Bob, Teenagers are on the edge of a very difficult transition. Strange parts of their bodies are expanding and contracting. Hair is popping up new places. Cigarettes are starting to look cool. Heavenly melodies are emerging from horrible music. Everything is suddenly very confusing.
Bob - you don't mind if I call you Bob, do you? Anyway, Bob, Teenagers are just trying to adjust to their rapidly changing reality. That takes so much of their attention that they sometimes forget to look out for the feelings of others.
What can we do? Nothing. Shake our fists at them from the safety of our porches, perhaps. But it never changes anything. All we can really do is tell stories about the good old days, when we were careless. I bet you know some good ones, Bob. Read more!
The thing is, Bob, Teenagers are on the edge of a very difficult transition. Strange parts of their bodies are expanding and contracting. Hair is popping up new places. Cigarettes are starting to look cool. Heavenly melodies are emerging from horrible music. Everything is suddenly very confusing.
Bob - you don't mind if I call you Bob, do you? Anyway, Bob, Teenagers are just trying to adjust to their rapidly changing reality. That takes so much of their attention that they sometimes forget to look out for the feelings of others.
What can we do? Nothing. Shake our fists at them from the safety of our porches, perhaps. But it never changes anything. All we can really do is tell stories about the good old days, when we were careless. I bet you know some good ones, Bob. Read more!
What to do when you feel so lonely and confuse?
You're in a sad state, my friend. I can sympathize. I've been dumped many a time. After each one, a Darleen shaped hole lingered in my soul. To this day, I wonder why I let it go on so long.
But that's neither here nor there. What you need to do is get up and moving. No one ever gets better sitting on their couch, typing sad questions into WikiAnswers. They get better in wild, hip-grinding clubs where the booze is as loose as the women. Here are some suggestions for post-breakup activities that will cheer you in no time:
1. Join a Book Club
2. Organize a disc golf tournament.
3. Complain incessantly about how much you hate cute couples.
4. Drink yourself into an early grave.
5. Take a class at a local college. Try something out of your comfort zone, like grammar or philosophy.
6. Realize you're hurtling towards the abyss one tedious, meaningless and painful day at a time.
7. Contemplate Suicide.
8. Find God. One of the angry, fundamentalist ones whose worshipers bomb abortion clinics.
9. Buy a Cat. (Great for meeting women!)
10. Go to the gym three hours a day, every day, for a week. While not eating. (Great for meeting men!)
11. Start a Blog. Read more!
But that's neither here nor there. What you need to do is get up and moving. No one ever gets better sitting on their couch, typing sad questions into WikiAnswers. They get better in wild, hip-grinding clubs where the booze is as loose as the women. Here are some suggestions for post-breakup activities that will cheer you in no time:
1. Join a Book Club
2. Organize a disc golf tournament.
3. Complain incessantly about how much you hate cute couples.
4. Drink yourself into an early grave.
5. Take a class at a local college. Try something out of your comfort zone, like grammar or philosophy.
6. Realize you're hurtling towards the abyss one tedious, meaningless and painful day at a time.
7. Contemplate Suicide.
8. Find God. One of the angry, fundamentalist ones whose worshipers bomb abortion clinics.
9. Buy a Cat. (Great for meeting women!)
10. Go to the gym three hours a day, every day, for a week. While not eating. (Great for meeting men!)
11. Start a Blog. Read more!
What if you call a guy before he calls you especially when he said he'd definitly call and didnt?
This gets at the heart of an incredibly common misconception among women: guys don't like to be called after hooking up. Nothing could be further from the truth. Getting a call after a hookup is the biggest complement a guy can receive. It says, I wasn't faking it, I really dig you, and I want you again. Every guy loves that.
But the guy in question didn't call you, even though he promised he would. I say, give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's been too busy. Maybe his grandmother died. Maybe he was mobbed by homeless people on his way to saving an orphan from certain death. Anything could have happened.
So go for it, ring him first. What guys love above all else is attention. Pay him as much attention as possible at the beginning of the dating process. Complement his clothing. When he wears a new shirt, point it out and praise his purchase. Show an interest in his life by calling him often. Search his facebook page for relevant information that you can casually insert into your conversations. My second wife got my attention by asking me about a five-year old picture of me partying in college. After that, sparks flew.
So, don't be concerned that the guy will think you're a stalker. Guys love that.
Read more!
But the guy in question didn't call you, even though he promised he would. I say, give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's been too busy. Maybe his grandmother died. Maybe he was mobbed by homeless people on his way to saving an orphan from certain death. Anything could have happened.
So go for it, ring him first. What guys love above all else is attention. Pay him as much attention as possible at the beginning of the dating process. Complement his clothing. When he wears a new shirt, point it out and praise his purchase. Show an interest in his life by calling him often. Search his facebook page for relevant information that you can casually insert into your conversations. My second wife got my attention by asking me about a five-year old picture of me partying in college. After that, sparks flew.
So, don't be concerned that the guy will think you're a stalker. Guys love that.
Read more!
Welcome to Under the Bridge
This is Under the Bridge: the Diary of a WikiTroll.
It's the story of four hopeful young men and their quest for enlightenment and meaning. It includes a cast of thousands, their dogs, their friends, their lives. Its about sharing. About communication. And about incredibly mean-spirited jokes.
Frankly, the premise will become obvious after you read a few answers. Here's what we do:
1. We post on WikiAnswers
2. We only answer unanswered questions
3. We never delete existing answers or in any way remove already existing useful information
4. The more initially plausible sounding the answer the better
5. It must be obvious by the end of the answer that it's a joke. A simple wrong answer isn't good enough.
6. We never advocate any illegal activity or condone cyber-bullying.
Ok, those are the rules. If you want to submit your best WikiAnswer trolling, email us at wikitroll@gmail.com. We'll review your answers and post the best ones. Be sure to include the text of the question and the answer in your email, as well as what you'd like to be called when we post it. Your answer will probably be banned and removed shortly after you post it, so hurry.
Thanks,
The WikiTrolls Read more!
It's the story of four hopeful young men and their quest for enlightenment and meaning. It includes a cast of thousands, their dogs, their friends, their lives. Its about sharing. About communication. And about incredibly mean-spirited jokes.
Frankly, the premise will become obvious after you read a few answers. Here's what we do:
1. We post on WikiAnswers
2. We only answer unanswered questions
3. We never delete existing answers or in any way remove already existing useful information
4. The more initially plausible sounding the answer the better
5. It must be obvious by the end of the answer that it's a joke. A simple wrong answer isn't good enough.
6. We never advocate any illegal activity or condone cyber-bullying.
Ok, those are the rules. If you want to submit your best WikiAnswer trolling, email us at wikitroll@gmail.com. We'll review your answers and post the best ones. Be sure to include the text of the question and the answer in your email, as well as what you'd like to be called when we post it. Your answer will probably be banned and removed shortly after you post it, so hurry.
Thanks,
The WikiTrolls Read more!
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